Too Much!

It's my one day off in a week and what a doozy it's turning out to be.... and it's only 8:15 a.m.! Up all night with a feverish, vomiting Liam. Slept briefly and woke up to a feverish, vomiting Livvy. Aidan, who woke up pleasantly, decided to pitch a major temper tantrum shortly thereafter, for no apparent reason. Can't get him to stop so had to put him in his room until he calms down. From working so many days on so many rooms at the hotel, I am having a major fibro flareup that is exacerbated by a visit from "Aunt Flo". At least Josiah is doing well so that's one less kid to worry about but he has to go to school.

I finally have my appt with the rheumatologist (after nearly a year) today at 10. Then another appt at 1 with the psychiatrist/therapist (the one where I get to talk and cry and pour it all out)(been waiting 3 wks for this appt) and then at 4, I'm supposed to meet with an attorney to discuss my upcoming court date where it's Me vs. the U.S. Govt. for that stupid incident that started out as a minor traffic violation and ended up with an MP abusing his power back in August. March 10 is the date of the trial and today, I meet with the attorney for the first time.

I don't know how I am going to make ANY of them. It's a fee for each one for cancellations without 24 hour notice. At this point, the money isn't so much the problem as that EACH APPT is VERY important to me and I've been waiting for them for awhile. Why now, Lord? What is your divine plan in all of this cuz I can't see anything through the haze of puke and.... what? it's snowing now, too? Yup, sucks to be me right now. **sigh** no more, Lord, please.

To top off all of the things that are attempting to stress the hell out of me, the property manager is having their yearly inspection Friday morning to check and see if we are maintaining the property. And I'm supposed to clean this filthy, cluttered house..... when? and with what body, cuz this one is SHOT? I'm staying fairly calm right now, which is surprising even me. But it's like I'm fielding balls left and right that are being lobbed at my head. My body is screaming out for rest. Everything hurts on me right now. And I have to push and push and push some more.... way beyond where I think I have nothing left to push with. I'd cry right now but it takes up too much energy and all of my energy has already been allocated elsewhere. I've been burning my candle at both ends for so long now that I'm almost out of candle.


And it doesn't help matters that I had a good ole crying spell late last night, remembering good things about Clint and missing him. I mean REALLY missing him, the real him, not this self-centered, skirt-chasing, mean bastard that has replaced him and who has decided to set up permanent residence instead of the yearly visits "he" had before. I cried for a long time, wanting him to hold me and do that "strength-giving" thing he would do when I had had a full plate. I actually called him to thank him for the times he took care of me and the kids during my illnesses and Gabriel's death and Aidan's illness. AND I told him that I have never stopped loving him. I'm sure that phone call shocked the hell out of him. He was gracious and his voice was tender and I'm grateful for that. It was that damn episode of Extreme Home Makeover that did it last night......


Gotta run.... Liam didn't make it to the bathroom and just vomitted a river all over my floor.

Pray for me. This Wonder Woman thing is getting freaking old!!!! And I have no other alternative.

Did I mention there's a 2 hr delay for school? Miss Perfect Attendance has decided that she has been miraculously healed of whatever ailed her a mere 2 hrs ago and wants to go to school.