I wish I could relax. I wish I could put my full weight down when I sit or lay, without having to anticipate having to jump up or take care of something or go somewhere or be interrupted.

I'm so drained and feel like a walking ball of anxiety, most of the time. I have to be alert, 24/7 and it is exhausting. I'm afraid to let my guard down, to relax, even for a minute. I don't want to be this way but I don't see any other choice. I don't think it's a chemical problem. I think I'm just all there is.

And I'm afraid I'm not enough.