1 Peter 5:6
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen"
Lord, could we step it up a little. You know I'm not so good at patience. I feel anxiety today. I feel disoriented and confused. I need to stabilize myself because I feel like I'm being tossed around today. Nothing overt. Nothing really happened. I just don't have my calm center and I need to get that back. It's been a good week but yesterday and today feel strange. I need to get on solid ground again and in a good groove. I feel like I'm floundering.
Had a good week up until yesterday. Not sure what changed. On Tuesday, I met with a financial counselor and then also with someone in the employment readiness program here on Post. Need to come up with a game plan but I'm running out of time. Big, hugemongous changes are taking place next month and I'm doubting whether I have what it takes to make it happen. My anxiety level is up there but the debilitating fatigue mixed in with it is making me feel like I'm in a holding pattern. A strange feeling, to be sure. Have been having a sharp pain in my chest around my heart and trouble breathing and soooo tired. I had a dream last week that M's Lynn was calling me from heaven asking me if I was coming up for Christmas cookies. It was when I woke up that the chest pain started. Scared the crap out of me. In my dream, I called my Mom and was hysterical that I didn't want to die and I must be going to die because M's Lynn was calling me to see if I was going to be there for Christmas. WTH?
Well, baby boy is sleeping so I'm going to take a nice hot shower to try to clear my head before I have to pick the kiddos up from camp. Maybe I just need to eat. I think this coffee diet isn't cutting it anymore.
I can do this, right? It's going to be okay?
7 comments:
Take care of yourself! I will add you to my prayers - hugs and calming vibes being sent.
Yep, you can do it. Everything always seems to work out in the end, somehow.
You know where that peace comes from. . it's the same source of strength, healing, and grace.
Keep seeking it. We're praying for you always.
Always praying for ya. And those chest pains are probably the babiest of panic attacks bubbling up (been there, done that unfortunately), but you should have it checked out! Big hugs.
Of course you can do it. And OF COURSE you are stressed. You wouldn't be human if you weren't. Just remember you can do it, it may be hard, but you can.
I'll be thinking of you.
Oh, I do pray you'll find the peace and strength you need right now!
i am praying for you - take care of yourself!
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