Bittersweet

Just came across this post in my drafts folder that I forgot to publish. How sad what came a few days later. Instead of deleting this, I am going to save it. I want to remember that despite what Clinton did to our family, we did have a good Thanksgiving. Rusha and Nola and Jillian and kids came over and it was a great time for the whole family, including Clinton. I was so shocked to see that Nola was able to smuggle Rusha in and surprise me. That blessed me beyond belief. I so thoroughly enjoyed having my sisters here. I felt so much more like myself than I have for a long time. We had more than enough food and everyone worked together to pull it off. I really enjoyed it. Little did I know that it would be the last one we had as a whole family: Clinton, me and the 4 kids. Being that as it may, it is a wonderful Thanksgiving memory that I will cherish as the last one we spent with Clinton.

"Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm doing quite well (if I do say so myself) at NOT freaking out. :-) Last year was probably the worst Thanksgiving in my life so anything after that is a piece of cake. This year, we are all together, healthy and alive. I don't want to rehash last year's pain but I just remember crying a lot, hoping my children would forget about that horrible day and remember good things. I mentioned something about cooking a turkey, not last year but the year before, and Olivia said, "yeah, because remember last year we moved into the house that day and didn't have any of our dishes or furniture". Good, that's what she remembers. Anyway, enough of that. This year, after beating death (yay me!), I'm focusing on the things I'm thankful for. And they are a lot! There's no money and quite possibly no turkey (because the free one we were supposed to get from the Army fell through because the guy in charge went on leave). But we will have each other and that is thee biggest thing I am thankful for. Thank You, God, my family. I am truly blessed."