Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today, I delivered Gabriel. Here's a layout that Dianne Rigdon made for us as a RAK coupled with a poem that Thena Smith wrote for us.

I never thought I'd get over the pain. This time last year, I didn't know I was pregnant with Aidan and the day was very difficult for me. I took a few extra Zoloft that day.

But today, I'm holding Aidan a little tighter and am thankful for his slobbery kisses and giggles. I'll never forget my sweet Gabriel. But the pain is buffered by the presence of my youngest right now. I think sometimes that Gabriel is actually Aidan's guardian angel. I know that sounds silly but Aidan definitely has an angel. He's been "talking" to him and laughing "with him" since he was a month old and we brought him home from the hospital. There's a corner of our bedroom ceiling that has nothing in it but that's where Aidan often looks and gets so animated, like he sees something that makes him happy. I think of all Aidan went through, fighting for his life. I wouldn't be surprised if his big brother was there with him, watching over him and making him feel safe.

Maybe it is just my way of coping with the loss of Gabriel, but it makes me feel better. :-) It sounded good to Josiah when we talked about it last night. He even went a step further by saying that Liam's twin that we lost was his angel. I told him about the miscarriage I had a few months before I got pregnant with Olivia. So he decided that was her angel and that God himself had the job of being his. :-) Supposedly, this was the conversation that took place in heaven when Josiah was born (according to him): an angel says, "God, you want me to get this one (newborn Josiah)?" God says, "Nah, I've got that one Myself." :-)

Anywho.....I'm just very thankful that the Lord gives me the privilege of having these babies at all and that I can ALWAYS trust that He ensures their wellbeing.