Traditons

I'm adamant about keeping my holidays in order... Thanksgiving THEN Christmas.  When Thanksgiving is over, then comes the Christmas planning, the music, the decoration... the reflections on the meaning, etc.

HOWEVER... lol .... I was shopping in WalMart last night for Thanksgiving dinner, walked past the electronics section and there it was... my undoing.... "Polar Express" playing on several large screen tv's.  First, I heard the music and like radar, I zeroed in.   It gets me every time.  *sigh*

It started years ago, when Josiah was about 5 or 6, with finding the book on one of our public library ventures.  Eventually, we bought one for ourselves on a family bookstore date.  It came with a CD of Liam Neeson reading the book (that was for Mommy.  lol)  & a red-ribboned bell for the tree. Then the movie came out when Olivia & Liam were little.  Thus started our tradition of a Polar Express sleepover.  Every year, and with whatever friends were in their lives at the time, our living room became transformed.  No lights on except the Christmas tree and the Christmas villages on the buffet....little ones donned in pj's, eating popcorn and of course, drinking hot cocoa.  Blankets & pillows all around the floor.  The first year we did this was also the first year we had our big-screen tv (the projection type that sat on the floor like a big piece of furniture.... the thing was huge) and surround sound.  It was magical. :-)  ....especially if it happened to snow that year.  :-)

As the years passed, and our family was broken up.... the big tv & surround sound gone... the money tighter & the new house small & cramped... I needed to keep the tradition alive.  Our family had undergone so much upheaval.... the rug had been sharply & abruptly pulled out from under us.  It often felt like we were desperately trying to "land", as we spun around in the air, trying to find something solid to grasp.  As hard as it was for me, battling depression and confusion those first couple of years.... and being so exhausted, trying to support my family and keep things going, by myself.... the traditions were still important.  The kids needed them.  I needed them, even though I didn't fully realize that at the time.  Oftentimes, it was the kids that kept the traditions going....forcing me to move forward, anchored in positive traditions of the past.  So we watched Polar Express on a small 19" tv but still had the magic of the Christmas lights, hot cocoa.... and each other.