Here's the quote by Dr. Edwin Cole (1922-2002) (great godly man): "If you forgive, you release. By not forgiving, you retain. So simple. So profound. So divine. So true."
I need to remember things like this when it comes to the "baby daddy". Just when I think I've forgiven him & have peace and understanding..... he does another dumb a$$ thing that ticks me off. But I know I'm growing and that the recovery principles are working because my "royal fits" don't last as long as they used to. :-) God knows that I would g on a rampage that wouldn't stop until I rendered him utterly powerless. Yeah, talk about OVERKILL. Sadly, I am too good at that. It's a survival tactic I had to employ growing up, to protect me from bullies. The thing is that I have trouble discerning the stopping point. It's like I am not taking ANY chances that thing is gonna rear up and bite me.
But this truth hit me the other day: a sure sign of true maturity is when you KNOW that you have the POWER to CONTROL or HANDICAP someone but you CHOOSE NOT TO. Wow. Yes, I, not-so-Wonder-Woman, thought of that. lol Ooh, maybe that means I actually MATURING! lol Go figure. :-) God is good, even to fools like me :-)
Oh my, my head is overflowing with so much to say! But I think they might kick us out of Chik-Fil-A come closing time. lol I better wrap this up. We're here having our twice monthly family dinner (on payday, I take them out to do something fun). I love this place. A great family gathering spot. Sure am gonna miss it when we move back home. This place is like a G-rated "Cheers". lol The kids act like it's just a big extension to our living room and that all of these people are simply our friends. Well, actually, a lot of them are. :-) More about that later. I gotta get these words out before I BUST! Thankfully, my new (refurbished) 12" Mac iBook should be here any day and then I can write much more often. I am so frickin excited! Feelin' "Bubbly". :-) Incidentally, Steven's Momma gave me the nickname, "Bubbles", years ago (27, to be exact). The whole family calls me, "Bubbles". I don't think they even know my real name. haha My love refuses to call me "bubbles", though. He says I'm not "bubbles" to him. That's just fine. My Baby has quite a few sweet, loving, nicknames for me... and some funny ones, too. *sigh* I love that man. :-) ........ soo looking forward to growing old with him....and we're halfway there already, too. hahaha
Alrighty then....where was I? Great....not a clue. lol Okay, words are floating around in my head....what was I gonna say.... "control"..."overkill".... "choose"......???? Dadgummit!! It was some good stuff, too. Well, I guess it's time to pack it up anyway. I'll have to finish this post when we get home and the pumpkins are fast asleep.....except I usually pass out by then, too. lol
Ah! I love writing! I could write my first book, sitting in this very booth... cheerful, stress-free atmosphere, contemporary Christian music playing, friendly people... Yup, totally could envision myself coming here many mornings, clad in my fave flannel pj's, fuzzy slippers, no make up, hair twisted up in a clip cuz it looks like a hot mess.....writing my book and designing my art. Yeah. I'm gonna make it happen... one day. Okay, I'm totally going off on a tangent here (me? noooo. lol)
I need to remember things like this when it comes to the "baby daddy". Just when I think I've forgiven him & have peace and understanding..... he does another dumb a$$ thing that ticks me off. But I know I'm growing and that the recovery principles are working because my "royal fits" don't last as long as they used to. :-) God knows that I would g on a rampage that wouldn't stop until I rendered him utterly powerless. Yeah, talk about OVERKILL. Sadly, I am too good at that. It's a survival tactic I had to employ growing up, to protect me from bullies. The thing is that I have trouble discerning the stopping point. It's like I am not taking ANY chances that thing is gonna rear up and bite me.
But this truth hit me the other day: a sure sign of true maturity is when you KNOW that you have the POWER to CONTROL or HANDICAP someone but you CHOOSE NOT TO. Wow. Yes, I, not-so-Wonder-Woman, thought of that. lol Ooh, maybe that means I actually MATURING! lol Go figure. :-) God is good, even to fools like me :-)
Oh my, my head is overflowing with so much to say! But I think they might kick us out of Chik-Fil-A come closing time. lol I better wrap this up. We're here having our twice monthly family dinner (on payday, I take them out to do something fun). I love this place. A great family gathering spot. Sure am gonna miss it when we move back home. This place is like a G-rated "Cheers". lol The kids act like it's just a big extension to our living room and that all of these people are simply our friends. Well, actually, a lot of them are. :-) More about that later. I gotta get these words out before I BUST! Thankfully, my new (refurbished) 12" Mac iBook should be here any day and then I can write much more often. I am so frickin excited! Feelin' "Bubbly". :-) Incidentally, Steven's Momma gave me the nickname, "Bubbles", years ago (27, to be exact). The whole family calls me, "Bubbles". I don't think they even know my real name. haha My love refuses to call me "bubbles", though. He says I'm not "bubbles" to him. That's just fine. My Baby has quite a few sweet, loving, nicknames for me... and some funny ones, too. *sigh* I love that man. :-) ........ soo looking forward to growing old with him....and we're halfway there already, too. hahaha
Alrighty then....where was I? Great....not a clue. lol Okay, words are floating around in my head....what was I gonna say.... "control"..."overkill".... "choose"......???? Dadgummit!! It was some good stuff, too. Well, I guess it's time to pack it up anyway. I'll have to finish this post when we get home and the pumpkins are fast asleep.....except I usually pass out by then, too. lol
Ah! I love writing! I could write my first book, sitting in this very booth... cheerful, stress-free atmosphere, contemporary Christian music playing, friendly people... Yup, totally could envision myself coming here many mornings, clad in my fave flannel pj's, fuzzy slippers, no make up, hair twisted up in a clip cuz it looks like a hot mess.....writing my book and designing my art. Yeah. I'm gonna make it happen... one day. Okay, I'm totally going off on a tangent here (me? noooo. lol)
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