...no, not the hard core metal album by Integrity. lol
Just....my life. My brain. My emotions. My body. My attention span. My patience. My pocketbook. You know...my get up and go, got up and went. The myth of "personal space" is overrated, right? I mean, my expectations of having any semblance of personal space or the illusion of no one but me being in my "hula hoop"....in silence and peacefulness....that's all just a cruel joke, a luxury that most never attain....right??
Something's gotta give.
*sigh* yeah, I think I hate Sgt. Mulligan right about now. Actually, his abandoning me with 4 kids to raise alone and only giving a small pittance of financial support shows how much contempt HE has for ME. Especially since I had a life-threatening illness when he left and Aidan was only a few months old and still battling his own, serious medical problems. Oh, and did I mention it was a couple of weeks before Christmas. Okay, I'm going down the bitterness path here and he's just not worth that energy. Redirect.
I don't have much fight left in me these days. I'm spent. There is sooo much I could do.....so many battles I could win by exercising my rights and enforcing his responsibility towards the kids and our marriage vows (yeah, what a joke they are).....but seriously? I want to do it without him. I want him to disappear out of our lives. The Army pays the rent. I'll do what I can to garnish more financial support through the military. But I do not want to communicate with him. Not in any way, shape or form. "Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. Not with a mouse". lol (okay, I've got to take this further because I am just that kind of cooky today....:-) ) "Not in the dark! Not in a tree! Not in a car! You let me be!" Okay, I'm done with that. :-) ........ maybeeeee....... :-)
Why is it so noisy in here??? I seriously feel like I am being assaulted by noise most of the time....and the tv and the music aren't even on right now.....just the kiddos....they are soooo ON. Where the freak is the "off" switch? I'm not kidding....at least one of them, if not ALL of them, are talking to me at any given time. I think my head is going to explode.
Calgon! Take me away! Cowboy, take me away! Hell.......SOMEBODY take me away.
2 comments:
Way to vent!! I love the use of Dr. Seuss to express your deepest emotions. Again, our special gift of using humor to keep us from slipping off the edge. As always you know we are here for you.
I would give anything to be there -- sipping a cold glass of wine with you -- and laughing our butts off.
Chin up.
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