Holding Pattern

Okay, I still don't have answers but I'm not feeling quite so maudlin right now. I spent most of the morning crying because the allotment didn't cover what I desperately needed it to cover because I had an overdraft in my bank acct. My attitude did get better as the day went on. But my head was pounding all day. No solutions yet. I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I feel like I'm in a holding pattern. Like.....what is God trying to teach me that I'm just NOT GETTING? And I'm not going to move ahead until I do.

I seriously feel like I'm stuck in a Special Ed class with no sign of advancement. I don't mean that as a joke or a slight to anyone. My daughter is in a special reading class. What that means for her is that she just processes input differently or has trouble absorbing it, recalling it all and spitting it back out properly. She is in her regular class but during the reading time, she goes to the special education class and has one on one time and help learning a new way. The cool thing with her is that at the beginning of the school year last year, the teacher said she was one of the hardest cases they had, which really surprised me because she's very intelligent and bright. But by the end of that school year, she had made more improvement than anyone else in that class. So, now, she needs less instructions from the Reading teacher and has been integrated more into the classroom's reading time.

But me....I feel like I'm in a special class and I'm NOT making any improvements. I'm NOT advancing. When Livvy used to get upset with her homework and cry that she just wasn't getting it and that something was wrong with her, I would tell her that nothing was wrong with her but that she just has a different way of thinking. Not a bad way, just different, and we just needed to figure out what her "language" was so she could understand and communicate it all back.