Want to Explain (cuz that's how I roll) :-)

For some reason, all the photos that I put on the slide show aren't showing up. It seems to be random. I can't figure out how to fix it. I'm working on it. Oh well.

I'm worried about being misunderstood about my tattoo. Just to let everyone know, it didn't cost very much at all. I covered my bills with the settlement check from the truck and just wanted to "splurge" a little on myself. I rarely spend money on myself and just wanted to do something bold. I made sure everything "responsible" was covered first and that the kids needs were all taken care of.

Okay, so I just had to say that. :-)

I've been talking for months about how hard pressed I've been as far as money goes so I didn't want it to look like I was irresponsible when I got a small "windfall". I felt like my "mental altitude" (as Rabbit on Pooh says) needed a big lift. It was easier to enjoy doing something bold knowing that my obligations were taken care of. The past year of barely scraping by (and sometimes, not even that) have worn me down. The constant worry about how we are going to survive is exhausting. Having a carefree weekend of being "normal" meant the world to me and the kids. And to come home, knowing that we still had a roof over our heads and electricity and water and that the vehicle wasn't getting repo'd and there was food in the fridge and gas in the car was all a breath of fresh air. Sadly, those necessities have become luxuries to us. I want that to change and STAY changed.

How much do kidneys go for these days? I mean, do I really NEED two. :-) And God knows, I produce enough breast milk to feed twins! Which is so cool to me because my milk pretty much dried up when Aidan was in the hospital and I didn't get to start nursing him until he was almost a month old. I used to pump and freeze the milk (even when I was in the cardiac unit fighting for my life!) and Clinton would drive it all the way up to Duke to put it in their freezer when he would visit Aidan. After awhile, though, I was drying up and well, y'all pretty much know the rest about one of Clint's "shining moments" of how he "saved the day" and Aidan and I have had a successful nursing relationship as a result. I'd tell the story (cuz ya know how I love telling stories) but I'm not feeling so inclined to think highly of him right now. I'm not inclined to think of him at all right now. Just confuses my emotions and I need to stick to the facts.