$2.97. That's all this hair color cost. It's amazing how a little color and a SHOWER can add a much-needed pick me up. And all those years, I was paying 80 bucks every 6-8 weeks for cut and color (when I kept my hair shorter). Go figure.
I'm not ready to tap into and write about all the craziness and stress from the past few days.....some self imposed, some due to circumstances, some inflicted by others....but all of it adversely affecting the kids and the family dynamic.
The move and house clearing seemed to be going well, with adequate teamwork, good humor and mutual respect.....at first. But after 24 hours and with the deadline looming large, energies all but completely drained from working around the clock with minimal sleep, physical pain (his back and neck, my fibromyalgia and wrists) and still so much work to do, the "pissin contest" began (I know, Mom, that isn't very lady-like language but I have been surrounded by soldiers for many years. :-) )......me and "the man's" big kid panties came off and the ugliness came out (okay, that was a weird visual I just had. Don't picture it. It's not pretty. lol). The "truce" got called off and we polarized again, currently back in enemy status. We worked through the night together (with Josiah and 2 friends helping), slept a couple of hours and got up, still fine. I went to Josiah's school, came back and he wasn't talking to me and the tension was thick. I figured it was that his back was hurting. But he kept disappearing most of the rest of the day and didn't really work much anymore. I could feel the hostility vibes. It ended with him being a "piss poor father" and me being "white trash". Yeah, not nice.
But for a brief open window of "fresh air, sunshine and a nice breeze", we were a team again, calling each other 'Honey' like we've done for the past decade, not thinking or blaming, being respectful and looking out for each other. It was nice. It felt like normal family. But as is the usual M.O., the "prop" got yanked out, the "open window" slammed shut, smashing fingers and breaking panes in the process.
And my awesome friends who worked themselves ragged to help us? Yeah, I think they are having a party that it's over and we're gone. :-) I love you guys! You went above and beyond......look for more chocolate and scrapbook supplies and photoshop lessons coming your way. lol
(I'm not really white trash, am I? I AM missing a couple of teeth....damn, it might be true...aw, crap.)
I'm thinking....if I spend more time with my kids (conversing with them, reading to them, running through sprinklers with them, going places with them, watching movies and playing with them, etc.) than I do being anal retentive about my house and that makes me white trash.....well, hell yeah, put me in a trailer park and call me Roxy! lol Yes, I know, I need to develop better habits with home maintenance instead of this feast or famine/flying by the seat of my pants approach that I've mastered. But "white trash"? Nah.
So tell me.....when you think of 'white trash' (I think I'm trying to say it over and over again to take the sting out of it. lol), what characteristics come to mind? And is it necessarily a bad thing? Inquiring minds want to know.
5 comments:
::sigh:: I was supposed to post this comment yesterday, and now I see why. I apologize for my tardiness.
Yesterday in church, I was thinking about you and praying for you within the context of the sermon, and I very clearly felt God prompt me to tell you that He is PROUD of you. To tell you that you ARE doing a good job, that you ARE being faithful, that you ARE persevering and that you ARE doing the one thing He requires of you - seeking after Him. To be encouraged, because He loves you and is working on your behalf. Think how proud your are of your children when they struggle with a "growing up" problem - you see their effort, you recognize their growth, even if they can't really see it in their limited perspective. It's the same way with your Heavenly Father - He sees your growth, and He is proud.
I'm going to go ahead and go out on a limb and add a message of my own - God doesn't think you're white trash, hon. And His opinion is the only one that really counts.
Great Hair Color!! Love the little cartoons at the bottom. Happy Birthday to Liam!!
GREAT new 'do! Hang in there...you don't sound "trashy" to me:) (((hugs)))
First, let me give you some gentle hugs as another person with fibromyalgia whose in the middle of a move.
Second, when I think of white trash, I think of my mother and her oldest sister. Drugs, alcohol problems, wife beating husbands, kids who run wild and dirty all the time. Bills not paid, and not for a lack of trying, but because it was more important to buy cigarettes, booze, and lottery tickets. Children shoved off on grandma at any chance they get just because the parents don't want to be responsible but aren't responsible enough to use birth control either. People who always blame others for their circumstances, and do nothing to try and change what they don't like.
For what it's worth, from what I've read on your blog, you seem like you're honestly trying your best. And yes, you vent and rant, we all do, but then you try to fix the issue as well the best you know how. In my experience, white trash doesn't try to fix things.
Honey, if YOU are white trash, I shudder to think of what *I* am....because I wanna be like YOU when I grow up! :)
You are truly someone I admire. I keep learning from watching you, and praying with you.
Do NOT let the enemy get ahold of your spirit. Do NOT let him convince you that you are anything other than the beloved Child of the Father. You are valued. You are precious. You are loved.
. . .and you've got darn cute hair, to boot!
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