blah

I feel kinda blah today. I need a fresh wave of hope and clear thinking. I have many things that I'm worried about and don't have a plan for. Too many loose strings that need to be tied up. When I look at the future, it feels foggy. I mean, I still know what my final goal is. It's just trying to figure out the steps to get there and that with 4 kids in tow. Just trying to figure out what is best for the 5 of us as a whole can be daunting. It's okay to have an off day, right? It doesn't help that Aidan DOES NOT want me to put him down. But the problem is that when I hold him, he is so happy and BOUNCY. It's exhausting. I need to accomplish some things around here and get the bills squared away, etc., but I can't find time because he needs me constantly.

Well, this glass of Chardonnay is looking good. I lit all the candles in the downstairs, put my comfy jammies on, got a glass of wine, put some Ray Charles music on and I feel a little better. More relaxed at least. It helped to talk with Joy, too. I always feel better when I talk to her even if we aren't talking about problems.

Tomorrow is a brand new day. I think I'll go do story time with the kids, get them settled in bed and hit the sheets early myself.

p.s. I didn't wind up scrapping any pages yesterday. Oh well. I'll get to it eventually. It's hard to digiscrap with one hand while I hold a drooling, energetic baby boy. :-)