D.R.E.A.M.S.

A previously unpublished post from 12/12/09:

Years ago, when I used to put together a newsletter for a women's Bible study where I co-taught, I came up with this acronym that has stuck with me over the years.  I can't remember if I posted it on here or not but it's always good to revisit encouraging stuff, eh?

It's an acronym for 'dreams'...as a verb....as in...if you are one who "dreams" you:

• Dare to
• Resist the
• Empty
• Accusations of
• Mind &
• Soul

Another old post that I forgot to publish.  Had to laugh.  Apparently, I was afraid of Angela!  lol  From 25 March 2010:

I did something crazy.... well, duh, I know that's no surprise.... but something OUTSIDE my NORMAL realm of CRAZY.... lol    So there's this guy....... (Angela stop reading here. :-) )   I talk to him at work and we do some light flirting.  Then one day, he did something silly that reminded me of elementary school.  Okay, so here's the crazy part..... when I saw him a few days later.... I gave him my phone number (Angela, you're not reading this, right?) and then immediately had "flirter's remorse". lol  This dang A.D.D...... I really need to work on that impulsiveness.

My Babies

From 1 October 2012:

What a privilege it is to rock my babies to sleep.  Of course, the only one I can do that with now is Aidan.  He's 5 but hasn't broken 40 lbs yet.  He comes darn close but when we go to get his weight checked, he doesn't pass "39.something".   No matter.  He's healthy... and still small enough to crawl up into my lap to be rocked.  :-) 

Lovesick

Found a bunch of blog posts that I never published.  Here's one of them from 4 July 2014:

Well... who knew... eHarmony works.  lol  I was really starting to have my doubts.  Their methods are so different than the other dating sites I tried.  But they matched me to an amazing man who has become the love of my life.  Wow.  Still stunned. :-)

After eH matched us, we started the "interview process"... going through the 4 stages of questions... ending with emailing, texting then phone calls..... many hours long texting and phone calls.  When we went on our first date, I think we were both already smitten beforehand.  And that first hug in the parking lot of Texas Roadhouse?  Magical.  It was as if all of the pieces just fell into place.... I'm fairly certain actual sparks flew when we kissed :-)

As they say, the rest is history.  We have been inseparable ever since.... despite the 3 hr geographical distance....if we're not together, we're on the phone, texting, facebooking...

Attitude of Gratitude

Found some old blog posts that I never published.  This one is from 18 April 2009:

I am thankful for friends (& family) who help me find my voice again. My inner voice, the real Jeannette..... not the voices of guilt & regret, doubt or criticism, insecurity or betrayal ...... but rather the voice of the optimist and the believer.... the laugher & the smiler .... the one behind bright eyes who have seen sorrow but still shines, not letting the light be extinguished...... the one who knows she is loved beyond measure by the only One Who truly matters. :-) A princess, a warrior, a lover & a fighter Not the voice of a martyr or a victim.... but rather the voice of a survivor & an overcomer.

Right now, I'm listening to Bob Marley. It's good "chill" music while I work on my room. "No woman, no cry

The Importance of Chores for Kids

• Obedience - Chores teach a child to carry out an assignment from the person who’s the authority in the home.
• Perseverance - Chores instill the importance of completing an assigned task.
• Order - Chores teach harmony and organization where they quickly learn that clutter fosters chaos.
• Virtue - Chores serve as the vehicle in training the children to want to do what’s expected of them.  
• Positive pride – Chores teach self-esteem by creating a sense of accomplishment.
• Endurance - Chores help kids apply themselves even though they may not feel like it.  
• Generosity - Chores allow the child to feel like a contributor.
• Dependability - Chores develop reliability.  
• Tenacity – Chores ward off laziness. (I heard a saying that I liked, “Children who do too little, have moms who did too much.)
• Godliness - Chores model biblical principles:
• 
  
• From:  

  4 Ways to Help Your Kids Build Character

Rodney Atkins - He's Mine (Official Music Video)

"He's Mine"

Old man knocked on my front door
With my teenage boy and a couple more
From up the road
He had him by the collar
Said he caught him shootin' beer bottles
Down in the holler and smokin'
I said is that right
He said, they won't speak when spoken to
So which one here belongs to you
And I know one does
'Cause they all started runnin'
To your back forty
When they saw me comin' on my gator
I looked in them in the eyes

And I said, he's mine that one
Got a wild-hair side and then some
There's no surprise what he's done
He's ever last bit of my old man's son
If you knew me then
There'd be no question in your mind
You know he's mine
Yeah he is

Friday night football games
I was livin' for the speakers
To call the name
On the back of number thirty-seven
Just one-forty-five
And five foot eleven
Maybe

Limelight barely shined on him
But everyone still remembers when
He whooped up on that boy way bigger
For taking that cheap shot on our little kicker
And they threw him out
Aw man, you shoulda, you shoulda herd me shout

I yelled he's mine that one
Got a wild-hair side and then some
It's no surprise what he's done
He's ever last last bit of my old man's son
And I'll take the blame
And claim him every time
Yeah man, he's mine and he'll always be
The best thing that ever happened to me
You can't turn it off like electricity
I love him unconditionally
I'll take the blame
And claim him every time
Yeah, y'all, he's mine
I thank God, he's mine

Turn Yourself Around

Story of My Life

Story of my life:  Rosie the Riveter vs. Suzie Homemaker and all I really wanna be is a Pinup Girl!  lol  :-)

Flashback Friday

Okay, so it's actually Saturday. lol  I couldn't think of anything that started with "S".  lol

This is a post I found on one of my old blogs ...when I was at the beginning stages of coping with CRM leaving.  When I read posts from those years, it's amazing not to feel the kick in the chest. 

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2008

Hope in Grief

I think the grieving process is doing its work. And I am grateful for the sweet friends who are praying me through it.

Grief is a funny thing. If you bypass any of the stages, you kinda get stuck there. Best to face down your demons, dig your heels in, stand on God's Word, "put on the full armor" and "fight the good fight". And make sure you have good, trustworthy, honest friends available to catch you when you fall and forget who you really are, in GOD'S eyes.

With each "episode" of reminiscing, the duration gets shorter and the pain less intense. I feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I feel a sense of control again. Not a "control freak" kind of control....but a sense that I'm not sliding helplessly down a slippery slope anymore. I feel.....anchored. I feel hopeful. I feel like freedom is just around the corner.

And for the first time in a v.e.r.y. long time......I think that love, true love, might actually find me someday. I'm not sure when. I'm not sure how. I'm not sure who. But I am hopeful that it is POSSIBLE. For the first time in a long time, I think that it's possible for me to fall in love again...deep, true, romantic, soul mate, grow-old-together kind of love...... without SETTLING for less than what FITS me or for less than what I need or want. It hasn't happened yet but I'm confident that it will. Not only have I become confident (at my ripe "old" age. lol) that I will find true love, I am also confident that someday, in God's timing, someone will actually WANT me....all of me. The good, the bad and the ugly. The beautiful and the not-so-beautiful. The quiet and the not-so-quiet. Stretch marks and all. Deeply, madly, truly. AND I know that God will provide just the right man who will love my children and understand them. Someone who will make time for them and will be loving yet firm when necessary.

For so long, I told myself that Clinton was all I could have, all I deserved. And to be sure, I would have stayed with him til death parted us. He is one of those people that "when he was good, he was very good. But when he was bad, he was horrid." I tried focusing on the good and keeping my rose-colored glasses in tact instead of facing the painful reality..... the reality of who he was (and wasn't) and the truth of the ugliness I allowed him to bring out in me, ugliness borne out of frustration and helplessness, neglect and rejection.

And I neglected my First Love. My romance with my Savior. The closer I got to Jesus, the farther away I felt from my husband. He didn't "oppose" my faith but he wasn't really much a part of it, either. He didn't "mind" what I did with my own relationship with the Lord. He knew from the very beginning that it was who I was. He just wanted me to let him "live [his] own life" and "stop preaching" to him. In Alaska, for about a year, we went to Peter's Creek Church together as a family. The only time in our whole 10 years together. He liked it. He participated. It was good. But that was it. I could analyze the whole thing and write a whole post on what I think the condition of his soul is and why ....but it's not my job to judge him. He is God's creation and it is God's job to make him who He wants him to be. Besides, he's not my "problem" anymore. God has released me to move on with my life and that's what I am doing. And it feels sooooo good and freeing.

So, I guess I should heed my Momma's advice to: "Get over it. Be grateful. He did you a favor." (Yes, she wrote those piercing words on my Facebook Wall when I wrote that it was the one year anniversary of when he left us).

God is doing a good work in me...AND....I actually SEE IT! lol I can admit, with full certainty, that I AM A BEAUTIFUL CREATION, inside and out. I DO have something to offer. I'm not "poison" or "the lowest form of scum there is". God's measure of beauty isn't what man measures. But I know that one day, some wonderful man who loves the Savior more than anything else, will also find me beautiful, inside and out, and will love me, passionately, with all that God gives them to do so. And God will equip him to be able to "handle" me. lol. Because, for sure, I am a handful. Stubborn, feisty, contrary, opinionated and strong willed. lol

Someone will see me as their Princess and the word won't be thrown at me with derision, as an insult. Someday. Lord willing (and if the creek don't rise. lol).


"Lord, complete your work in me, so that I will be ready when that time comes." Amen.



EDITED TO ADD: Some words that my friend John wrote in response to a blog entry on my myspace page a couple of months ago when I was lamenting that no one would ever want me:

Please do not build your walls of protection so high that no one may climb over them to stand beside you. I know it is necessary to build those walls at this point in your life but leave gaps in the wall for some of what the soul needs, to creep in. I see it so often that a member of my gender destroys a heart, twists a mind and shatters a dream leaving a shell behind... and it saddens me to see the shell. Love will find you again, you will accept it, you are more than worthy of it, you may not be able to keep it from leaving you in the end... but the destination (the end) is not nearly as important as the journey. We have no control of what others do but we can control how we react to their actions. I beg of you to continue to love openly and to trust all until they give you reason not to. There are good men out there (my brother and I are a testament to that) and your KNIGHT may show up yet. I ask that you not judge him by the condition of his armor but by the love in your own heart, for his armor may be dented, rusty, and askew but that may only bespeak the trials he has endured getting to where he is now.... BESIDE YOU!!!!!

No Discipline Seems Pleasant

My Utmost For His Highest

 

“Isn’t it piercing to realize that God not only knows where we live, but also knows the gutters into which we crawl! He will hunt us down as fast as a flash of lightning. No human being knows human beings as God does.” – Oswald Chambers, from My Utmost for His Highest

Ah yes... I can attest to the flash-of-lightning-hunting-down thing! lol And I want to say, "Lord! Just this once? Just this once can I do this without getting in trouble? Please?" He says, "No. Any more questions?" lol Then I might throw a hissy fit and He patiently waits and says, "Are you done yet?....Yeah? Now go splash some cold water on your face & get moving girl." Being Princess isn't always about tiaras & pretty ball gowns. It often comes with a helmet & combat boots. lol  And a lot of muck & mire to tramp through.